By: Nomi Kaltmann as seen in The Australian Jewish News

6 August 2026

Where do you go when you need advice?

For most people, there are a few trusted people they turn to. A close friend who knows them well, a parent or grandparent whose life experience has given them perspective, a teacher or mentor who has watched them grow.

These are the people who know our strengths, our weaknesses, our tendencies and sometimes even the things we cannot see about ourselves.
Judaism has a concept that speaks to this very human need: the idea of a mashpia.

A mashpia, sometimes translated as a guide, is different from a rabbi, although sometimes the roles can overlap. A rabbi is someone who has studied Jewish law and is able to answer questions of halacha. A mashpia, from the Hebrew root meaning “to influence”, is someone who occupies a more nuanced role where they provide spiritual guidance and perspective. They are someone you turn to when the question you are asking is not only “what does Judaism say?” but “what would Judaism want me to do in this moment?”

A mashpia is someone who helps you navigate the greyer areas of life. The moments where there is not always a clear answer, where two values seem to compete, where different paths are possible and you need someone who knows you well enough to help you think clearly.

The idea of seeking guidance from another person is deeply embedded in Jewish tradition. We have always valued the relationship between a teacher and student, not only as a way of transmitting knowledge, but as a way of shaping a person. In the Torah, we see Moshe mentoring Joshua and preparing him to lead the Jewish people. In the Talmud, students sought out teachers not only for intellectual learning, but for guidance about how to live a meaningful Jewish life.

In the modern era, the concept of a mashpia was strongly encouraged by the Lubavitcher Rebbe, Rabbi Menachem Mendel Schneerson. The Rebbe encouraged every person, men, women and children, to find someone they could turn to for spiritual advice and guidance. He understood that Jewish growth does not happen in isolation and that we need relationships with people who can help us become better versions of ourselves.

Finding a mashpia is not necessarily about finding the most famous or impressive person. It is about finding someone whose character you admire, someone whose judgement you trust and someone who has demonstrated wisdom, humility and the ability to see situations clearly.

When you approach someone to be a mashpia, you usually are asking a much deeper question: would you be willing to be someone I can turn to? Would you be willing to help guide me when I have questions about my life, my values and my Jewish journey?

Recently, I had a decision that I was thinking about deeply. It involved competing considerations and I was genuinely unsure what the right answer was. There were good arguments in different directions, I could see the appeal of one path, but I also wondered whether it was the right path for me.

I called my mashpia and explained the situation. My mashpia reminded me of my values and helped me consider what was most aligned with the person I am trying to become. By the end of the conversation, I felt clearer about the path forward.

We live in an age where information is everywhere. A person can ask an AI chatbot almost any question and receive an answer within seconds. Jewish texts, commentaries and opinions are more accessible than ever before.
But information is not wisdom and a quick answer generated by AI is not the same as guidance.

There is something powerful about a human relationship and having someone like a mashpia to guide you. Sitting with another person who knows you, who understands your circumstances and who can help you work through the questions that do not have simple answers is meaningful.

One of the easiest things we can do as human beings is to convince ourselves that the decision we want to make is the correct one. We can find reasons to justify almost anything when we are emotionally invested.

A good mashpia does something different. They do not simply affirm every decision we make. They help us question, reflect and consider whether our choices are bringing us closer to the people we want to become.